physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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