I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
