and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
