Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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