Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize