After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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