he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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