4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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