I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
