what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
