I'm sorry my penis didn't work
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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