After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
