Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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