So drunk its hurt
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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