I feel like I'm in dance class right now
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
