So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
