I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
