The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
