Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
