So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
