But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
