i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Did I show you my penis last night?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
