i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
