he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
