ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
