is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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