found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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