You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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