Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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