walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Randomize
