we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize