do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize