How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i dont even know how to be here
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
