I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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