Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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