That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
