I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
