I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
