No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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