I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
