you're like a bully in the Christmas story
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
