But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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