The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
