he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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