She's JV to your varsity
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
