I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
