i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
