White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
