best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
