I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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