I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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