Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
