so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
