I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
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