Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
We're too hungover to prance.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
