Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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