That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
