he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
