How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
