I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
3 2 1 whiskey
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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