dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
