we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
