Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
