i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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